Pillow Talk

I have never been big on letting my children sleep in the bed with me. Maybe that seems mean, but it is my only haven away from them and I feel I deserve some privacy. But this week, with John away, I have been letting each one of the girls sleep with me. So last night was Bailey's turn. I snuggled her into the bed and I jumped in ready to begin the new book I had just bought. But Bailey wanted to talk, and talk she did. It was so great. As much as I think that I talk with my kids and listen to them I realized last night that I do, but with Mommy ears (yes, I have mommy goggles and Mommy ears). I don't usually just sit and listen to them as an individual, letting them say what they want without fear of getting in trouble. But last night, Bailey shared her feelings about being a big sister and I listened, just listened. She said that earlier in the day she had read a note that she had written to me. In the note it said that she would try harder to be a better listener. She said when she read the letter she felt bad because she didn't always do what she should. She shared that it was hard sometimes to be the big sister, because she is expected to be the leader. And her little sisters make her so mad that she just really wants to hit them, even when she knows she is going to get in trouble. And I just put on my listening ears and really listened. It was the best and I could tell she enjoyed that special time with just me. I haven't done that in a while. I feel like such a bad Mommy sometimes, because I feel so stretched, and I don't give my girls the special attention they deserve. But I am only human and as I told Bailey lastnight (I can't keep my mommy mouth turned off forever!!), all we can do is ask God's forgiveness for the mistakes that we make today and help us to do better tomorrow. A good lesson for my girls and myself. Tonight is Reagan's turn. Wonder what I will learn tonight...